"Before You Go, Let The People You Love Know"

I suppose I could open my topic with such general quotes as "you never think it's going to happen to you" or "he/she was the last person I expected something like this to happen to". As far as I'm concerned, death is a taboo subject in American society. Unless you're talking about the afterlife, be it religiously based or not, the thought of dying is a typically bitter and unsettling one. You could get sick, you could be murdered, you could pass off quietly in your sleep, or even end yours yourself. There's countless methods, ways, and circumstances that can lead to your heart's beat slowing to its last and final thump. However, it's not how you're going to die that I wish to discuss. It's also not about what will happen to you when you finally part from this plane. I've been trying to understand what happens in the world around you after you are no longer a part of it.

In case anyone's concerned, I'm not in any morbid or negative place in my life. I believe that any blame for this blog can be aimed towards the book that I'm currently, and considerably slowly, reading. If you're curious, it's titled Last Breath and is written by a writer for Outside Magazine named Peter Stark. Essentially, it is a simple collection of short, fictional stories that each cover what happens to the human body and mind in situations of extreme endurance. I've read about the way your body freezes to death, or what's happening in your lungs when you're drowning, or the effects of mountain sickness on the respiratory and nervous systems. The characters are fictional, but the science and biology behind each of the tales is completely factual. As I've read through Stark's adventures, I find myself easily distracted from the fascinating science and can't seem to help myself from wondering what happens to those that you love and those that love you if you were to meet such an untimely fate.

While watching Danny Boyle's newest film 127 Hours a week ago, it really hit me that no one can ever feel sufficiently prepared for such a thing as an untimely death. When I'm out jogging, I sometimes find myself pondering how events would play out if I were to be hit by a car without an ID on my person. Only a couple of miles from home, with no familiar neighbors around, I might as well be in a different state, right? If I were to be killed under such circumstances, how long would it be until my family found out? Who would notify my school teachers and employer? What would happen to my bills? Who would be stuck paying my debts? Where would all the furniture in my storage unit end up? Would my email accounts, blogs, journals, and social networking profiles just be left alone forever, undisturbed?

I've recently been considering filling an envelope with such information as passwords, credit card information, and locations of my most private letters, emails, and belongings. I can't seem to bring myself to do go through with something like this though. It feels far too morbid. It's like I'm writing a personal will for my family to know about in case anything were to happen to me. In another's shoes, I couldn't imagine being offered such ideas and information from any friend or family member. It would be simply heartbreaking and honestly just disturbing. Again, death is esecially taboo for my generation.

Personally, I haven't grown up around death on any level really. I come from a simple and small family that is generally very happy, healthy, and hopefully still many years away from passing on from old age. I feel as though death is something very far away and misunderstood for the simple fact that I've more or less been sheltered by it for most of my life. How would I handle things if I were to lose a loved one? I have absolutely no way of truly knowing. I can only believe that there are ways to mentally prepare for such matters and trust that I would only grow stronger and wiser from such experiences.

One of the more significant concepts that I've been dwelling on the most these past few days is this; knowing and understanding that it will eventually happen to you. You need to embrace the life you have in the means that you find most appropriate, and above all, letting those that you love and those that love you know what they mean to you. If you were in a perilous situation and knew for a fact that you were not going to live through it, what would you regret? What would you have changed? What smoldering, old bridges would you make an effort to rebuild?

I'm beginning to understand that it's NEVER too late to give yourself a fresh start. In as fortunate and opportunistic a country as we live in, there's rarely going to be a legitimate excuse to keep you held hostage to an unhappy situation and/or circumstances. I'm beginning to believe that NOTHING matters more than being truly happy, satisfied, and having a real sense of personal accomplishment during the few years we're all given to live our lives on this world. I'm not necessarily saying to live selfishly, but to simply climb your way up onto a pedestal and openly reach down to those that you wish to have join you there. Onwards and upwards, right?

I wish only this; if I'm ever put in a situation that I become aware that I won't be living through, I refuse to feel anything but pride for what I've accomplished with the time I was given the privilege of borrowing. Now, when asked the question "how do you want to die?", I'll simply answer "satisfied".